I've been deciding whether or not to post about this or not, but I figure why not.

12-11-12. A day that changed my life.

I was so lucky that day. I was in the break room at JCP, didn't hear anything except another co-working coming in slamming the doors saying there was a shooting going on. I felt helpless. I called Logan, only to wake him up with the news. The mall was on lock down for about 2 hours after the shooting. After the SWAT team let us out, we had to wait for them to clear the parking lot where our cars were. It was then that I started crying. I just wanted to be home, with my husband. He was all I could think about, I had to make it home to him. Of course I called my parents and friends here too to let them know I was ok. I wasn't sure if it would make national news, but it did.

As you all know I'm not religious but I did appreciate the thoughts and prayers. Friday when the mall opened again, was difficult to say the least. As I pulled up to the mall, my heart started to pound, I almost started hyperventilating. I was terrified. But things have been returning to normal. I haven't had that reaction since then. It was also that day that the massacre at the school in CT happened. I couldn't handle that. Who kills a child? What could they have done to deserve that terrible end? I just don't understand what the world is coming to these days.

I want a gun. I want to learn how to defend myself in a situation like that. I don't want to feel helpless and vulnerable like that ever again. I don't care how much it costs, or what it takes, but I want a gun. Because if we ban guns, the only people that will be armed will be the crazies like these two sick fucks who killed people. How would we defend ourselves?

My heart goes out to all of the families who lost someone due to these terrible incidents. This holiday is probably not a very happy one for them. Just a reminder of what they lost a short ten days ago.

I'm not sure what else to say.


-Tarwen-